I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
