dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
