as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
