Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
