I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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