Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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