He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
