Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
