you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
