I'm going to jail i love you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
