That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
