I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
