An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
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Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Houston, we have a blender
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We're too hungover to prance.
did i just pee glitter
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.