new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
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Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
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I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.