I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night