haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
