these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
