Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
