Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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