So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
