Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
