My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
