ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
