how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
