yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
