i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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