I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize