A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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