is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
