The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
