I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
