it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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