There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have surprise drugs for everyone
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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