she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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