Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
