I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
