So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize