Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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