and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
