You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
