she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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