Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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