pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
