Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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