I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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