I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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