Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Duck Duck Cougar?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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