Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
