She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
