nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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