I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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