well I can't set my house on fire every night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
