He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize