if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize