That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just pee around me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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