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tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
