HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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